Tour has been a masterpiece of debauchery so far at least, so for the sake of us remembering things, and you getting (hopefully) a good laugh out of it, this is our laugh and Oscar puts it best when he repeatedly says "Tour is weird!"
Omaha, NE- We pull into Cooper Moon's place for a house show and first things first....uuuuuhhhh...we get our van stuck! of fucking course! But that did not stop this Greatful Dead non stop party bus. Quickly we score a ride to the booze farm, and pick up a handle of canadian whiskey (cooper called it a "homewrecker") and a 30 of High Life, hung out and talked soooooooo much shit (we are really bad about shit talking, but its all just good natured ribbing). The first band plays "the Dinks". They were great. Seth yelled at Oscar for punching the heater or something. I don't know why Oscar did it, and I also don't know why Seth yelled at him for it...they probably don't know either. (I don't--oscar) The Lepers played next. SABBATH!!!!! it was rad. so then it was our turn, at this point we had basically polished off our beer and was doing some fucking damage on that bottle of whiskey. It is 3 A.M. and we have not played a note. Oscar is passed out in the living room with a giant party all around him. Once we revived him from the dead, we strapped a bass around his neck, and gave it thee ole' college try. It worked out about as much as college did. The set ended up with me and Ocsar falling over each other and our equipment. I think we tried to do some sort of AC/DC rock star back to back pose and we missed each other. After the show I had the most logical conversation ever with a clearly insane person. Me and Hannah tried to polish off the rest of the handle. I ended up being the last person up and drinking alone. I dunno if thats Hardcore as fuck, or just pathetic. Omaha!!!!
Denver, CO-We show up at the Hi-Dive and were greeted with open arms, and with the drink special from heaven(or hell) Tecate and a shot of kentucky gentlemen is what we had every time we went to the bar, and it was for free!!!! I caught someone fucking in the green room. AWKWARD! every single band we played with was incredible, Mersman is the coolest dude in the universe, the food was great and the after hours was kickin'. We went to The Oriental Theater, which is this really old historical looking place and partied like crazy with the owners until like 5 or 6. That night I thought it would be a ggggggrrrrreeeaaaatttt idea to try and start smoking weed again. Nope! still can't. Panic attack city. But i do remember how much i loved having the munchies. We went home and ate ham and cheese sandwiches with pretzels. Yum. (Oh, and Mersman gave us some delicious fig-and-walnut-infused whiskey and amazing and totally redundant hot toddys to usher us into sleepytime--o)
Salt Lake City, UT-Okay, so on this specific night we were supposed to "take it easy". that didn't really work out to well. We didn't drink at the show really because it was an all ages place that didn't allow it. I thought that was refreshing, and it was really rad to have kids at a show, and to play with kids. They are still so wide eyed about everything, and its totally innocent still. They don't see the evils of the music biz, they're not bitter or jaded or anything like that. If anything they are fucking hilarious. I mean it. Its really cool. Okay enough with that. The show went seemingly well i suppose, after we played this like 14 year old kid in an Alice In Chains shirt came up and told us if we gave him a cd we would burn it off for all of his friends at school to try and hype us. We agreed. The next day we recieved an email from him asking if he could be our P.R. rep(this is what i mean about kids being hilarious). We stayed with our Friend Vannesa who is awesome! she bought us so much beer, and bloody mary's. She also bought us pizza!!!!! Everyone smoked pot out of an apple, and watched Stella. In my mind anything that involves Stella is a perfect situation to be in(thank you Jenny Sinn for stealing my young impressionable heart, and introducing me to Stella while you were at it). Everyone I met there was so cute, even the boy's. It's true! They had cool boots. We also got to take showers! Oscar and Hannah have refused to take off their pajamas since. Its really funny to see oscar rock out with his sweatpants on. He's really taking care of buisness.
Missoula, MT- We woke up and watched the inaugeration, and played the first show ever at a club called The ZACC! like woah! Oscar-food+booze=something that children think live under their bed, or in their closet. Hannah with that same equation equals hysteria! In a good way. the set started with me and Oscar performing a call and response with the crowd. We screamed at the top of our lungs, and then they did the same. This lasted for about five minute, it was then and there we knew this was going to be a hella rad show. We drank a shit ton of beer on stage(I just wanna say this right now. Look out Replacements, and Guided By Voices. There are some new drunk assholes in town). Oscar played half the set with is sweatpants around his ankles. We played an impromtu accapella version of "Blister In The Sun". Oscar single handedly ended a relationship(we think). Dane is a bad ass mofo, and made us veggie stew. It was delicious! Daves band The Streetlight People were incredible. It reminded me of like a Modern Lovers meets Dylan infuse, how could you not love it? Everyone in Missoula is so awesome, and completly crazy. I think its something about living in the mountains that does this to people....So get this we go buy more beer "Moose Drool" to be specific, and we show up to the party. Apon arrival we were greated by five people holding machine guns, screaming and listining to some sort of Fiesta music (something that you would hear at El Mezcal). we all were stoked on this, everyone except for oscar who if he could remember this would have been totally stoked! we partied hard and talked a lot about Against Me! for some strange reason. Some one put on the Refused by my request, this really made my night. Then the cd started skipping. Instead of cleaning the disc and trying again the dude grabbed a baseball bat, and seth grabbed a lead pipe and all of a sudden we were trapped in the board game Clue. No, actually they went outside and smashed the fuck out of that stereo! then they went and played beer bottle baseball. I woke up on a mattress underneath a sink. Missoula is the best town ever, and i will forever play there on tour.
Boise, Idaho-Where do I begin.....The Neurolux pours the strongest drinks of all time(and we should know). We had a dude who played in The Doobie Brothers talk to Oscar about how much of an asshole George Thorogood is, then he told me that Mickey Heart from the dead got his house broken into by drug addicts(duh). After that he asked us for a place to stay. Also, This conversation happened to me;
(A firm hand gently caresses my arm)
me-Oh, hello(loooong pause)
dude-Sorry to bother you. (looooong pause)
me-Its okay. (loooooong pause)
dude- I'm Captain Ron. (Captain Ron exits the bar).
During our set we talked shit on The Meat Puppets(who we all adore), and everyone in the place because thats how we roll i guess. We get away with it because we talk the most shit on ourselves. We had two tamborine players join our band for the show. it was pretty awesome, they kept stealing me and Oscars mics, we didn't stop them, instead Hannah just took Pictures. There was some sort of lazer light show during our set and it kept fucking us up, and made me feel sick. People were buying us shots of whiskey while we played because Boise rules. By the end of the set me and Oscar both had our pants around our ankles showing off our goods. I can only think thats why all the ladies bought or record that night....Well, one did at least. You got to start somewhere right? After the show we went to the pie hole and at copious amounts of pizza, then bought the king of beers for the after hours! MOTOWN DANCE PARTY BITCHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Seth is a really good dancer but at that point it didn't really matter. Eric and Heather has a really cute dog. We stayed up really late of course. Hannah said that at some point i wondered downstairs and face planted with a beer in hand spilling it everywhere and then went to sleep in it (classy). In the morning seth came downstairs while we were all trying to sleep and started playing guitar (what an asshole). Now we are on the road to Olympia listing to The Get Up Kids-Something To Write Home About. We just drove past a sign that says "Eat Gas".